John Hunter is an editor, cinematographer, producer, rock climber and newlywed.
My son John has just gotten married to a fine young lady named Lauren. Now, we know weddings and funerals tend to bring out the emotions both good and bad, unless you are one of those that believes all emotions are good. As John said, “If you are open, weddings (and funerals) make you remember a lot of things….and see things, and people, differently through all this celebration”.
I felt this could be good timing to pick his brain. Early in our conversation John says out of the blue, “When I think about Hope….it is something to live for”. I didn’t catch this at the time because it felt to me like a toss-off line that someone may have gotten from a dictionary because they knew we were going to be talking about Hope. But I am tucking this line away for the book.
I pressed on with my original idea. He is my child and I wanted to talk about what a great job his mother and I had done raising him. Ha! At first, the conversation centered on the topic of child rearing, learning, and the fine balance of teaching a child, yet understanding how to let that child make his or her own mistakes. We talk about his, and his brother’s childhood, and how difficult it would be today to let go of the reins too soon with all the dangers that are out there. He says “the world has changed a lot in 30 years. It’s not as easy to say to a 16 to 17 year old “alright kids, ya’ll go out and have a good time tonight”, without worrying. However, there has got to be an attempt at that. There will always be a tendency to shield kids from unspeakable things, or their own mistakes.
I know he and Lauren have talked about having children, so I ask him how he feels about bringing a child into the world now. He says, “It scares the hell out of me! It’s something I want very much. It’s something I have envisioned a lot and how great that will be with Lauren. But when I think about the nuts and bolts of what things will be like 10 or 15 years from now, it scares me because of how different it is from when you, or even I, grew up. It will be a challenge to let them grow up as individuals and not just live in the protective family bubble.” So, how does one make the leap of faith and decide to start a family?
I suggest that our natural instincts to survive and to procreate are what drive us forward, and he states that “maybe this is where Hope plays its’ biggest role in combining our most basic instinct to have kids with the Hope that your kids will be ok, make it through and live with integrity”. It seems he is able to override that cynicism we develop as adults (or just the absence of Hope). Maybe our instincts enable us to remember the wide-eyed Hope for the future that children seem to possess naturally.
I guess i have confirmed that we have been good parents. It’s either that, or John is just a hopeful young man with a good head on his shoulders, in spite of it all.
I love you